Oh Sh*t it’s Sh*t!

That was my day today.  If you do not like reading about Dirty Jobs, then please move onto another site.

The olde homestead up in the mountains where I grew up has developed a nasty problem with it’s sewage/septic system.  For the past couple of months  it has been seeping water up to the top of the ground instead of letting it seep into the ground, with a slow trickle of rather foul smelling run off.

Now that it has finally warmed up here and is now resembling something typical for this time of year, the heat is causing the wonderful odor to permeate the neighborhood.  I was speaking with my mother the other night and she said they had the windows in the house open that evening, and the smell was wafting right in, something that I’m sure is great when you’re wanting to sit down and eat dinner.

So off to the mountains I went to dig up the portion of the system that was leaking.

After an hour of digging I found the problem – I dug down to a junction box in the leach field, which was not as deep as I remembered it was the last time it was dug up in the 1980’s.  Nope, I hit it six inches higher up in the ground than I remembered it.  That wasn’t the problem.  The problem was that the grey water inside the septic system bubbled up at a faster rate than the oil Jed Clampet discovered when he was shooting at his food during the opening credits of the Beverly Hillbillies.  By the time it was done, somewhere between 200 and 300 gallons of this bubbling crude came to the surface and started heading down to the lake in the back yard like a river.

Fortunately, I was able to stop it from getting that far by some quick thinking and breaking a hole in the ditch that went down to the lake, thereby causing it to fan out in a remote part of the property to seep into the ground.

Crisis averted.

Then I opened up the cover on the junction box.  Inside it was filled to the top with this gloppy, smelly, black matter that was, well, sh*t.  It is a septic system after all.  So I shoveled away, and shoveled some more.  Worst case scenario would have been all the pipe openings being clogged and our having to spend $1000 to get someone out to do this.  Fortunately only one of the 4 openings was clogged, and the liquid in the box made it’s way down to the next junction box after I cleared the opening.  This clog was causing about half of the entire leach field to be out of service, hence the seeping.  It should work for now, since the clog is gone.

When I was done with all this, I promptly went into the house and took my first shower there since last January, which is when I moved in with Big D.

I bet some gorgeous flowers would grow in the muck I cleaned out of that thing though.


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