Tales from Jurassic Park

That is the name I have chosen should I ever decide to open up a nursing home skilled nursing facility (SNF).

My days of clinical practice in the SNF’s come to an end on April 22, at which point we will intern at acute care hospitals for the duration of our course.  I’m looking forward to the acute care facilities.  The cases we will encounter there will be much more interesting  because of the trauma, CVA’s in progress, myocardial infarction, emergency departments, maternity wards, etc., rather than the continuous stream of diabetes, blindness, deafness, incontinent bowels and bladders, etc. that we have been dealing with at ye olde folkes home.

I am glad our time is coming to an end at the SNF’s, but I will miss one patient in particular.

For the purpose of this conversation, let’s call him George.  George is a rather vociferous man, about 70-years old, who stands a whopping 3’6″ tall due to his double above knee leg amputation.  Once you get over his vulgar and rude way of carrying on a conversation, he is a quite entertaining fellow.  Sadly, all his conversations revolve around sex, but it’s how the staff responds to him that is amusing.  The women take his offers of impregnation, jokes that would make even a sea captain blush, and the winking and lip-licking in stride and with a light chuckle.

I really thought that George was simply a womanizer until I had a chance to visit him yesterday afternoon.

That’s when the inappropriate behavior targeted me – He propositioned me for a blow job.

It took a lot to *not* laugh hysterically.

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4 Responses to “Tales from Jurassic Park”

  1. You’re more likely to remember the offers you turned down than the offers you accept…

    Did he want to give you one or to get one?

  2. I worked at an old peoples home once. I don’t care to ever do it again. It was interesting at breakfast and lunch times. One elderly gentleman would throw his cereal, bowl, milk and all across the room while yelling I ain’t eating this f*cking sh*t! I would have to clean it up. One day I asked him to please not throw his food. He told me that he was saving my job because they would lay me off if I didn’t have enough to do and since nobody wanted to clean up his mess my job was safe.

  3. @TQE: He wanted me to give him one. He also asked me during that conversation if I had ever sucked my dad off, and after I said, “No, of course not, he’s my dad!” he told me he had done that to his own father. *rolls eyes*

    @Ted: We had a woman like that yesterday. We gave her breakfast and it promptly found itself flying out the door and into the hallway. She acts like the crazy cat woman from The Simpsons.

  4. All I can say is “Ugh.” I worked in a nursing home for a few months when I was an undergrad and it was frustrating and obnoxious. You must be way more patient than I am.

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