Wedding bells

Obviously these bells were not for me because:

  1. Since Prop 8 passed, I cannot legally get married in this state, and
  2. I’d first have to find a willing participant to exchange nuptials with.

As I mentioned a couple blog posts ago, I attended the wedding of my second-cousin.  I had met his bride prior to the wedding since she was one of the people who greeted me after I returned from my visit to TQE in Germany this past May.  I thought then that she was a pretty girl, even if only in an average way.

All I can say is, WOW!  What a difference some good make-up, clothes, and hair makes.  The bride was absolutely gorgeous, almost enough to make me consider changing teams. 😉  To top it off, she’s an absolute gem, really intelligent, kind, and funny.  My cousin certainly made a great choice when he picked her to be his mate.

The bride gave us a bit of a “show” at the beginning of the ceremony.  When the wedding party came out, she made us all wait another five minutes or so before she made her appearance.  The uncle of the groom saw the groom sweating and said, “If you think you’re sweating now…”

Since we didn’t hear rushed car noises in the parking lot we knew that she was not late as there were no screeching to a halt noises at the front of the building, nor was she fleeing because we didn’t hear a car zooming away.  After a few minutes of suspense, the bride showed up at the door and made her way down the aisle, vows were exchanged, and then the party started.

I’ve learned that weddings are attended by different kinds of people.  I’ve not attended many, but these people always seem to show up:

  1. The appropriately dressed.  This included me as I wore my Ralph Lauren suit, formal tie, and highly polished shoes.  I also got to sit in the relatives section.
  2. The lush.  This is the person who really loves the person, but probably wouldn’t attend the wedding unless there was an open bar.
  3. The family slut.  This needs no explaination.
  4. The inappropriately dressed.  These are not the people who simply cannot afford a fancy suit, so come wearing their best Casual Friday business clothing.  No these are the people that think showing up in biker boots, black jeans, and a sport jacket over a white tank top, is appropriate attire.

Here is who played the roles at this wedding:

  1. Appropriately dressed – about half the attendees.
  2. The lush – The grooms aunt by marriage.
  3. The family slut – The grooms biological aunt.
  4. Inappropriate biker dude – The lush’s brother.

Isn’t it odd how none of these people were on the BRIDE’S side of the family?

The reception started off a bit odd.  First the musical selections, I’m assuming purely by accident were what I can best describe as either Death’s Greatest Hits or Tunes From Beyond.

Why?

Michael Jackson, Issac Hayes, and Louie Armstrong, were the artists for the first three songs that played.

I kept thinking to myself please, oh please play something by a living artist.  I don’t generally believe in superstition, but when only dead people are singing to us, what does it foretell for the health of the new marriage?

Just when the selections couldn’t get any more inappropriate, on came Gloria Gaynor with I’m coming out.  Which foretells something entirely different to me since every time I see my cousin my gaydar goes off.  On that point, I really hope my sensors are not working!

OK, bad CQ!

Shortly after this I went to my car, retreived my backpack, changed into my normal summer attire, then left the event.

I wish the happy couple well and am glad we all got to see the relatives again.  I very seldom see any of them.

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One Response to “Wedding bells”

  1. As the conservative right have pointed out so many times it makes me sick, you have the legal right to marry a female. You just can’t marry the one you fall in love with if it’s another male. I mean who’ll be there to raise the children the right way? Oh that’s right, there won’t be any children born. Well, in my state adoption isn’t allowed either unless the couple is married. The couple can’t marry unless they are of the opposing sexes. Catch-22.

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