The day after

I have not gotten a response from J regarding the note I sent him.  Yes, it was a bit impersonal sending it via e-mail, but if he’s not going to answer the phone or otherwise talk to me I had to send it somehow.

Now that I’ve managed to dispense with that annoyance, I think it may well be time for me to start taking some creative writing lessons.  I need to give this blog some oomph, something for people beyond the three of you that read it now to come here for.  Maybe get the word masturbation to cease being the top search that leads people here (I bet the traffic goes up now just because I wrote the word here).

I’ve always found the easiest way for me to write creatively is to have something to talk about, and quite frankly I have not had much to talk about lately.  Perhaps it was the stench of thinking I was still in a relationship when the other half of it had given up…  Perhaps I’m just turning into a boring, bitter old troll, who knows?  One thing is for certain – now that I have my self-respect back I’m going to be making an effort to pull out of this rut. 

I want to be an exciting person, the one people come to and ask out.  I want to be more outgoing and less of a wall flower.  I’m not sure what to do about it though.  I am perfectly fine at being up-front, in your face, and forward when I am writing blog entries or e-mails, but when it comes to personal interaction I tend to be a complete and utter failure. 

I am the classic wall-flower.  Not more than half-an-hour ago I displayed wall-flower behavior while attending a happy birthday meeting for two of my co-workers.  I simply joined in, sang the song, had my cake then left.  What’s wrong with me?  I should have things in common with this group of people, after all I’ve worked with them for over 6 years now, but still I have this fear of interaction.

Where was I?  Oh yes, how to make the blog more interesting and relevant to folks stopping by to read it.  Perhaps I should start talking about my odd sexual proclivities, or may be I should start talking about the odd sexual proclivities of my friends?   Would somebody read a blog about cheese? Toothpicks?  The physical nature of our, now, 8-planet solar system?  

Ah, fuck it all… I should probably stick to being me. 

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6 Responses to “The day after”

  1. I think humans have always thought themselves to be more important in the Universe than we actually are. Case in point: Do you think Pluto gives a damn if we call it a planet or not? I think there are hundreds of people reading your blog, they just don’t have the time to reply or think they can’t reply unless they say something witty or important. Hell that certainly has never stopped me.

  2. Definitely stick to being you. Write what moves you, and maybe post some photos now and again. I always love seeing the world through someone else’s eyes.

    The fact is that you ARE an exciting person that people will want to ask out. You just need to let them see it.

    If you haven’t already, now would be an excellent time to read Stephen Chbosky’s The Perks of Being a Wallflower I think it’ll make you feel better. At the very least it will probably be a book that speaks to you on a meaningful level.

    Coming out of your shell is hard, and I know just how hard it is, because believe it or not I can be a real wallflower myself. But socialization is like anything else that you want to achieve in life — you just have to work at it.

    Well, there’s my two (or three, or four) cents. Good luck with it.

  3. The exceedingly poor linking above is evidence of just how very bad I am at html. Sorry.

  4. Stick to being you. You want readers..give them some Real Life to read….they are tired of all the crap that traditional media shoves at them. Hell, those Old Media Farts are trying to get everyone into listening to (repackaged media) podcasts….prepackaged of course….they don’t want ppl listening to independant sources of enchantment. They don’t want ppl to think, learn, grow.

    CC, you write very well. Maybe you could write a script for me..a podcast with you as a writer would be fun. A letter to some religious freak..hmmm, let’s do it!!!

  5. Introversion Sucks

    It’s strange—I have a shell and I find it immensely difficult to crack it. Similar to the shyness described recently by the CQ, I too find myself fleeing office birthday parties as soon as I reasonably can—avoiding small talk. I’ve…

  6. […] difficult to crack it. Similar to the shyness described recently by the CQ, I too find myself fleeing office birthday parties as soon as I reasonably can—avoiding small […]

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