Hello Barney Fife…

Well I was going to write about the fireworks in Washington, DC last night, or my my first visit with my pal Crystal in the past 10 years, but instead I’m going to write about bored, jack-booted thugs.

That’s right folks, I had a run-in with the cops today. Now it wasn’t for anything really bad, but it did impede my progress from Washington to Conservative Hell today. That’s right folks, Barney Fife pulled me over. For what you might ask? I was doing 70 in a 65 – Let me repeat, 70 in a 65.

OK, I was speeding and perhaps should have been pulled over. But this cop was sneaky. He tracked me coming up behind him (where I slowed down when I saw him) then proceeded to pull off at the next off ramp. Then he PULLED BACK onto the highway and hunted me down in a spot where the speed limit dropped from 65 to 55. I had slowed 10 MPH by the time he found me and was doing 60 in a 55.

He was a F-ing smart ass too (here you can tape this by that weird dial on your instrument panel that tells you how fast you’re going), but let me off with a warning. Maybe it was the blow job I gave him. (just kidding!)

The fun part is that this was not up in DC, not in Commonwealth of Conservative Morons even. It was 10 miles from my house as I was on my way back home… mile 590 out of 600, round trip. I guess you get tickets closer to home just like accidents.

You would think I had been going 110 or something the way he acted though. *Shrugs*

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3 Responses to “Hello Barney Fife…”

  1. With the rise in crime and drug use and murders it seems like their money could be better spent than to harass law abiding citizens such as youself. 10 miles from home, too. It is a good thing you have a nice smile and probably used flattery to smooth talk your way into just a warning. Way to go, C.

  2. Sounds like he pretty much didn’t deserve a blow job.

  3. It is almost 10 O’clock and several of my neighbors are setting of fireworks it has been happening every night since last friday. Uh folks look at the fucking calendar, the 4th is over. Indiana is so stupid they passed an anti-gay marriage bill and let these morons shoot off fireworks at will. Unfortunatly they are also aiming them toward my house. Send Barney Fife up here to cuff them and stuff them. Tell that cop you have a better place to stick that ticket then smile real sweet.

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