What is a national news story?

Dear American News Media:

Lately you must be experiencing slow news days. That’s all I can figure since the stories you’ve decided to fill everyone in on seem to run from “What’s that Lassie? Timmy’s Stuck in a Well?” to “The Bride got Cold Feet.

These are hardly events that rise to the level of needing national attention. Now if the headline were something along the lines of, “George Bush Spontaneously Combusts” or “Yellowstone National Park Eurupts Leaving 200 Square-Mile Caldera” then maybe you should file a report.

These little local stories hold no national importance and would be best left to the likes of Oprah and the other talk shows. Also, when a dog farts in New York City, the rest of the nation does not need to hear about it. You also dropped the ball when George Bush recently told the nation his speeches are propaganda (go to the link and use your search feature to look up “propaganda”). Some liberal media indeed that failed to pick up on that gem.


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