Dear Company HR:
Where do you find the sales people you hire? I’d like to know as it seems none of them fit the job description for the position they were hired for. I mean, they should know basic things such as:
- How to turn their computer on.
- How their basic software packages work. They don’t need to know complex Excel formulas, but they should be able to sort and total columns.
- How a web browser works.
- The four fundamental advertising research variables (Audience, Composition, Coverage, and Index).
- Be able to assemble their own client pitches. We provide information, not the entire presentation. Unless I’m going to get a cut of the sales commission, they need to do this themselves.
On another subject - I’m not misogynistic, but really, do all the women you hire for sales have to be a popsicle stick with a chest size larger than their IQ? I know we live in Conservative Hell, but the advertising world attracts a talent pool that tilts towards gay people. Perhaps you should take that into consideration when you’re hiring Chesty Love for advertising sales since the odds are about 50% of the men on the other side of the sales table won’t be interested in those perky tits.
Since you’re a Bush supporter, I’m fairly certain you have not noticed the economy is in the crapper. In difficult economic times it is probably a good idea to hire one or two people that actually know what they’re doing. I know this is a difficult concept for you to grasp seeing as you probably don’t know your own job very well, but still, you could try.
Sincerely,
CQ
Posted in I see dumb people!
